how could be

kenapa bisa? kenapa gue ginii? kenapa jadi gini? kenapa ancur banget? kenapa gue baru nyadar?kenapa gue bisa ngecewain ortu gue? kenapa bisa? post2 sebelumnya gue bangga bangganya ip tinggi, sekarang mesti lepasin kebanggan itu dan gini, how.. gue udah masuk organisasi, gue sudah berusaha ini itu, eh ternyata malah kepeleset ditempat gue yakinin,mom dad, sorry.. i didnt do ma best before, i lost my focus.. feel so broken, but i cant cry, i cant do anything else, just fcking myself i lost my focus when someone crush me, ugh i blamed another person, but its true, i dont even care about feeling before.. but now. but my dad didnt angry, i knew he was upset, but he didnt show it to me, still cheer me, like nothing will change, but me... i feel so sad, i cand make them proud of me, i cant make them enjoy their live too, how can i be a person like this? anyone probably hate me, just like myself... mom dad......... sorry for make u tired everyday, sorry for make u upset. i will not forgive my self, i hope i can focus to my own business later, and will not lost focus, and i dont care bout love anymore, i hope i can. sorry mom, dad.